How do you spot an alien? - Part 3

Today I want to start off with a couple updates.  This blog has been up for a month now and in that time it has received over 1000 page views.  That is fantastic!  Thank you for reading and for sharing my posts with friends.

I am thinking of skipping the radio broadcast for now and just producing the podcast myself.  If I had one major sponsor to help foot the bill then it would be a no-brainer.  But without a sponsor I will have to come up with twelve hundred bucks a month for the studio time.  That is not in the cards right now.  At first I thought, if you build it they will come - in other words, if I start broadcasting, surely I will get some sponsors after people hear how awesome the show is.  But I cannot take that chance.  I believe it will happen in the next couple months but for now I will be producing the podcasts at home.

If you build it they will come
If you build it, they will come

Wrapping up this week, I will conclude with the final installment (for now) of what seems to have been a popular series, based on page views, How do you spot an alien?

Yesterday I focused on how aliens might blend in on our planet by remaining in their natural form and hanging out with Earth creatures that look like they do, like insects, for example.  But if they wanted to blend in with humans they would have to look like us.  Before the how, I want to discuss the why.

Alien Spies

Note that I am not saying Aliens are definitely here.  I do not know that.  I do know they have done drive-bys because I have seen one of their ships.  It was so close to me that I could have shot at it with the M-16 I was holding at the time and it would have been literally like hitting the broad side of a barn.  What I am saying is if they were here, they would want to blend in with humans in order to study us.  

An alien spy would work the same way that a foreign spy would come to our country and live amongst us.  A Russian spy, for example, might come here, start a family, enroll his kids in school, join the local golf club or town pool, whatever any American would do as part of a typical American life.  All the while, he would be reporting information back to Mother Russia.  The spy may not know what his information is used for, only that he is tasked with collecting it.

Back in Russia, the information that is gathered from this spy and, perhaps, hundreds like him in communities all over America, would be used for all sorts of things ranging from military and economic dominance to the annihilation of our society and the occupation of our land.  Only the Russians know exactly where on that spectrum they are.

Likewise, an alien civilization would want to learn whatever they could about us by living amongst us.  They would not want to stick out by being that weird hermit without a job who hangs out in the park, talking to squirrels, and staring at people all the time.

Rather, they would want to look like us and act like us so they could conduct their surveillance on the Down Low.  In order to do this they would have to look the part.

Bernie Goetz
Probably NOT an alien

Russians look pretty much like Americans.  There are different ethnicities there but most of them could be interchangeable with the Melting Pot of nationalities we have in our country.  In fact, if you wanted to conduct espionage on any country, America would be the best place to do it because pretty much any ethnicity could be considered American.  Although, depending on the neighborhood, you would blend in best if you looked European, which Russians do.

America may also be the easiest place to conduct espionage because we have so many freedoms, i.e. speech and assembly.  People tend not to ask questions about people asking questions.

So it would be reasonable that aliens would want to go to America and disguise themselves as white people of European descent.  Not to diminish other races - just from an economy perspective, if you had to focus on creating a version of yourself that looked like a typical Earthling in America you would want to make a white guy.

white woman calling the cops on black people
"Somethin' don't look right, over there."

This would also allow them to draw the least amount of attention from the authorities because, not to get political but let us face it, some white people love calling the cops on black people.  Not so much, the other way around.

Aliens Blending In

So if aliens are here, walking around, going to work, driving cars, putting their kids in Little League, attending Moms Night Out at the Olive Garden, how would you know them from any other typical American?  The obvious signs may not be the right signs.  It would be obvious to say, "That family down the street looks like us but they have a funny accent and a weird way of emphasizing the wrong syllables."  That does not make someone an alien.  They are probably just from Denmark or Sweden.

What about that guy in your office who seems to clam up whenever the other guys start talking about sports?  He knows nothing about the movies you have seen.  He does not seem to know the first thing about American culture.  He dresses like he is auditioning for the remake of Revenge of the Nerds.  That guy must be an alien, right?

Aliens Blending In
Your IT Tech Support Help Desk Guy

Probably not.  If someone was trying to blend in and learn as much about our society as possible, he would make it a point to keep up with sports, movies, and music.  For example, people from other countries think all Americans are just like people in American movies.  They think we all live in mansions, drive Ferraris, and date models, because they watch every American movie and TV show that makes it overseas.  Baywatch was the #1 show in the world for years.  No, really!

Foreigners, especially Europeans, can also tell you more about American Football (NFL) than you can tell them about European Football (Soccer).  That is the sad truth.  So no, that guy in your office is not an alien.  He is your IT Tech Support Help Desk Guy, dummy.  Go over and talk to him.  He is bored and lonely.  And he knows more about everything than you do - like literally everything, except maybe sports and the kind of movies you like.

Bottom line is you probably would not be able to pick out the alien down the block because they are smarter than that.  They would not just plop down a family in your neighborhood, like the Coneheads.

Alien Spies
The Alien Family Down the Street

And they would not travel hundreds of light years to get here, only to try to occupy us in one day.  They would spend years, maybe generations, studying us and figuring out how to blend in.  They would raise children who looked like us, who studied our accents and mannerisms and culture, who would then come and raise children here who essentially grow up American.  They would not stick out in any way.  That may, in essence, be what makes them stand out - that they are so ordinary that they are missing that je ne sais quoi which makes each of us unique.

Paranormal researcher Shane Sirois says he has been visited by human-looking aliens who were so perfect that they looked like someone's attempt at making the perfect human.  I am not going down the supernatural rabbit hole that many in the UFO Community subscribe to.  This is my best attempt at a Science-based blog.  But what Shane says about his encounter makes a lot of sense.  Building off that, Alien spies may be identified as people who are essentially flawless, though not necessarily perfect. 

Brad PittSteve Carrell Alien

Think more Steve Carrell than Brad Pitt.

Agree?  Disagree?  Post your thoughts in the Comments below or on the David Marceau Facebook Page.

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If you have seen an alien spaceship or any type of unidentified flying object (UFO) contact me using the Contact form on this page.  You may remain anonymous if you want.  I will not ridicule you or try to tell you why you are wrong.  I get it, I saw one too.

Thank you for reading and keep an eye on the sky.