Why are there so few cameras in space?
Should we not be filming everything that goes by our planet? E-yah!
What do we have, for SpaceCams, out there? Is there anything orbiting Earth other than street map direction services?
We have got this one which shows a live feed of Earth spinning:
It is pretty cool if you like watching clouds and water. Thanks NASA!
Planet Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do.
Then we have the live ISS feed complete with astronaut banter.
"We're out of TP."
"I thought you were sending some up on the last supply run."
"You never put it on the list. How am I supposed to know we were out? Over."
"You never put it on the list. How am I supposed to know we were out? Over."
Fun stuff, going on there, up there on the ISS feed. Looks like someone snapped a whole roll of photos and forgot to take the lens cap off. That is a joke for the old people in the audience, over 40.
Darkness,
Imprisoning me,
All that I see...
I think I will stop back later when the sun comes out. Or maybe I will watch paint dry. I wonder if I left the iron on, this morning. If centrifugal force pulls things outward, why don't we fly off the Earth?
Here is one that apparently is taken from the escape pod R2D2 and C3PO used to get off Leia's ship. It's the Earth Live Cam 2. Booyah! More awful Spa music. That reminds me, I am overdue for a massage.
Still a lot of clouds and water, in that shot. Where are all the spaceships?
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| Earth Live Cam |
What do all three of these have in common? They are all pointed down (if there is a down in space). They are all basically selfies - or Earthies. Great! We spend billions of dollars on a space program and it is apparently used to make the world's longest selfie sticks. Paris Hilton must be so proud.
Someone went through the trouble of making a list of all the cameras on the Space Station. OK. Which ones are pointed outwards?
We have this feed, from a Japanese moon mission, complete with awful Spa music. What is is with the Spa music in space? Could you imagine being on a quarter million mile road trip and your co-pilot only brought one cassette tape (another old person joke) and it was Spa music? Let me out over here.
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| Japanese MoonCam |
The MoonCam is not live. But at least it is pointed away from Earth. We are getting warmer. That is a nice crater over there on the left. Reminds me of Coney Island, except with less raw sewage washing up. I was going to say Jones Beach but I do not think you can smell cologne in space. Can you?
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| Hubble Shot |
At the end of the day, though, it is a telescope not a Handicam. So we are not going to get any good shots of the neighborhood around the planet. Trying to film aliens with the Hubble would be like trying to shoot a football game one yard from the ball with the camera on full zoom. You might see the ball but you could not really tell what is going on.
SpaceCams
So let us recap. We have:
- NASA Live
- Live ISS Feed
- Earth Live Cam 2
- Japanese Moon Spa
- Hubble Dots
In June of this year (2018) a couple astronauts went out for a walk around the Space Station to install a couple cameras. Awesome! Now we are getting somewhere. They spent seven hours outside, installing two cameras on the outside of the Space Station. Wait, what? Seven hours to install two cameras? I knew I should have taken a Union Job. I am assuming there was a third astronaut on standby, to sweep up, afterwards.
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| Astronauts out for a walk |
At any rate, at least now we have some cameras in space, pointing at... hold on... I am receiving a transmission... They are pointed at the Space Station?
Are you f$#@!ing kidding me!
More selfies? How many egomaniacs do we have at NASA? Just buy yourself another mirror and point the cameras outward!
Sheesh! Even the visors on the helmets have mirrors on them so the astronauts can see themselves. Get over yourselves, NASA, and show us some spaceships.
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| A real SpaceCam |
I am mostly joking, of course. Mostly. I appreciate what NASA does. I just do not understand why they do some of the things they do. Fortunately, it looks like things are heading in the right direction. There is a company which specializes in making SpaceCams. For only a few million bucks you can pick up one of these 3 megapixel bad boys (at right) and slap it on a satellite. Or you can sign up for a 2 year cellular phone contract and get a 13 megapixel camera phone for free.
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Thank you for reading and keep an eye on the sky.
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