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Thursday, January 17, 2019

Earthlings Convention

I will be traveling tomorrow so this will be the last blog post for the week.  I have a meeting to attend this weekend.  It is not an aliens meeting.  More of a training session for an organization I advise.  But thinking about aliens, which is what I do a lot (A LOT) I imagined aliens attending a conference.

Attending the Earthlings Convention

What would it look like if 1000 aliens all showed up at the Swan and Dolphin Hotel in Orlando?  Why would they attend?  What would be the subject?  Would vendors create displays on the exhibition floor?  Would they have after-hours social events where attendees get loaded and then pretend they are not hung over on the last morning of the event?

Attending the Earthlings Convention

Here on Earth we have events where people meet up to discuss aliens and UFOs.  Do aliens have events where they meet up to discuss humans and travel to Earth?  Do they wear silly t-shirts with pictures of random human faces?  Do they put on Captain Kirk ears?

At the Earthlings Convention, aliens would likely attend workshops and discuss topics like:

  • How to blend in with the clouds
  • What to do if you are spotted
  • Why don't humans believe in us? a.k.a. The Grok Paradox
  • Do humans celebrate Christmas?
  • Defensive Driving, evading primitive airships

On the exhibition floor, most of the vendors would be hocking travel insurance, no doubt.  Most of the others would be offering some type of services related to space travel or survival in an inhospitable environment.  A few would represent totally random companies selling office cleaning supplies or coffee filter pack services.

Earthling Schwag

All of them would be giving away novelty trinkets like Earthling key chains, Earthling face on a Rubik's Cube, that weird snake puzzle that no one can figure out how to put back together once it has been taken apart - with a random Earthling picture on it.   The coffee supply company would have a human blow-up doll in front of their booth - sans genitalia, as goes the custom.

I am thinking the keynote speaker this year would be Steve Forbes.  Everyone would be disappointed that they could not get Snoop Dogg.  He was booked.  Forbes would talk more about politics than the topic of the convention.  He would probably say something crazy that would make people roll their eyes but overall it would be an entertaining speech.  He is no Snoop, but whatever, my company is paying for me to be here.  I wonder what time the bar opens?

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If you have seen an alien spaceship or any type of unidentified flying object (UFO) contact me using the Contact form on this page.  You may remain anonymous if you want.  I will not ridicule you or try to tell you why you are wrong.  I get it, I saw one too.

Thank you for reading and keep an eye on the sky.

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